Entering a new battle in my life

Updating my info in our data. Rabbi, it feels surreal! And, even now, I can feel I’m “tiptoeing” on the floor whenever I’m walking in the office, seeing myself walking on a very thin ice (yeah, I’m quite dramatic and can’t get rid the drama queen syndrome when I’m panicking haha). What I’m feeling right now, are indescribable, I’m in fear, but at the same time, I’m telling myself, this is the process, this is the choice I've made. I have to own every good and bad thing happened from my choice. Somehow, I should give myself a space to digest the whole process and learn from it. Along the way, I might lose my mind, I might cry, regret with the decision that I have made but at the same time, I might feel happy because I’m learning a new thing/skill, happy to be able to improve myself, might become an avid reader also haha because I’m forcing myself to read lol without sound knowledge, how can I become better person, right? Well, whenever I’m in distress, I can go for retreat… and looking for a good mountain within my capacity to hike lol most importantly, I also have Allah to guide me too. Auliya’s mother said, I should be grateful first with the opportunity given and then, Insha Allah, Allah’s help is always there. Inna Ma'al Usri Yusra. Nevertheless, I also silently pray to Allah too with my whole heart – may this choice bring me closer to Him by relying more onto Him. May this choice bring more kindness and act as an investment for my akhirat. I can be quite positive now haha as I have no other choice from thinking more relevantly and work on it haha being panic and feeling down for too long can’t help me from anything at this juncture, however, you may see that one day, my status may be in dark version haha

p/s: Glad that I have close circles that also said kind words to my concerns. You know who you are, and I pray you will always in Allah’s care.